Havent had a lot of really nice days in the recent past.today was special because my neighbour just happened to bring home a new german shepherd pup.............awwwwwwww the pup was so cute.......with soft velvety ears.........and pansy brown eyes...............and looked at me really scared..................i just couldnt resist and for those who know me ................they know what that means................hehehe..............i was all over the dog rather than he being all over me......................
Brings back fond memories of my baby..........pepper...............how i brought himup and stuck by him till his last breath..................it costed me a few grey hairs and loads of tears.............but i wouldnt change it ever..........................loved that chap with all i had in me...............more like a mother with her real child...............and whats so special about pepper...............was somewhere deep down he knew it too.............and whenever he was in distress or pain would come scampering upto me..........
Cant ever replace him,though i have decided that when i have a place of my own after i start working i am going to get another dog.reminds me of that song .............
DREAMS are nothing more than wishes........
one thing is for sure i could never settle down and live with a person who doesnt love animals as passionately.........decided long ago that my kids would live and love nature, and as much time i could get i would encourage them to trek and travel and be outdoors.............want to explore numerous places.....................in india and abroad........and god willing i will someday..............but for now..............there are things needed to be done
Dreams are nothing more than wishes and a wish is just a dream.....
wished to come true....
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
MY EXISTENCE
There is a certain familiarity that scares me so
Whispers from the past
A look on a face, the smile, the scorn, the indifference
Oh so achingly familiar
And yet when I try to clear the haze
I can see none
A bliss and yet a torture
Why can’t I fathom it?
Eternally… incessantly have I asked?
Sent the question out into this immeasurable void…
And yet the silence my eternal answer
A benediction
Lay hidden in all its glory within me
It’s strange, and those who don’t understand will find me a stranger
A silence that answers all a pain that is pleasure still
It’s like this inexplicable feeling the origin and end of which is me
And entrapped in its golden threads am I
I loved no one with as much passion as I did my God
And he deserted me not…ever
And yet my soul yearns for more
My God smirks at me so…
A voice whispered… the answer lies within
And I delved deep into my consciousness
All I found was…
Patience, waiting and love…
A love immeasurable… patience tested sore by ages past
And a waiting that have known worlds
I find tiny fragments within me…
Some little bits of consciousness
A sudden remembrance
A reverence for something precious I held
I don’t know what it is
But I know for certain… it is the source of my strength
It’s the reason I live over and over again
And yet I can’t see…
It is that steel that makes me bend but not break
And all through this I smile
At my own follies and fumbling ineptitude
Knowing well that I am a master past in this
And yet….why do I stumble so
Over and over again
Have walked these lanes…walk them blindfolded even today
And yet know not when I walked them
This life I am growing as I grew many lives before…
Never remember anything …
But the certainty that I was there is all I carry
And carry beyond the grave will I
A burning memory…of a blank?
A blank that is greater than all …
a meaning stronger than the strongest
And in sudden fear I hold close to my heart my God.
Seek solace from him…
Lavish him with all my love, anoint him, bless him, and praise him
And still in my heart I have a tiny space…
A question…
That like a tiny bubble doth expand and surge forth
With the strength of a thousand oceans
And all it asks…
“What am I?”
Why do I hurt so badly… that it is difficult to draw breath
And yet in the next breath find it in me to bless
To love and care, when all I wish is the capacity to hate
Never have I been able to hate
Wanted to destroy, wanted to wield vengeance
Why my Lord
I ask eternally… why can’t I be Human…
And yet in being human can’t hate
The form is there but the soul can’t hurt
Only be hurt…
“Why?”
Into that void I send them….these questions that plague me so…
A voice whispered… the answer lies within
And I delved deep into my consciousness
All I found was…
Patience, waiting and love…
A love immeasurable… patience tested sore by ages past
And a waiting that have known worlds…
Whispers from the past
A look on a face, the smile, the scorn, the indifference
Oh so achingly familiar
And yet when I try to clear the haze
I can see none
A bliss and yet a torture
Why can’t I fathom it?
Eternally… incessantly have I asked?
Sent the question out into this immeasurable void…
And yet the silence my eternal answer
A benediction
Lay hidden in all its glory within me
It’s strange, and those who don’t understand will find me a stranger
A silence that answers all a pain that is pleasure still
It’s like this inexplicable feeling the origin and end of which is me
And entrapped in its golden threads am I
I loved no one with as much passion as I did my God
And he deserted me not…ever
And yet my soul yearns for more
My God smirks at me so…
A voice whispered… the answer lies within
And I delved deep into my consciousness
All I found was…
Patience, waiting and love…
A love immeasurable… patience tested sore by ages past
And a waiting that have known worlds
I find tiny fragments within me…
Some little bits of consciousness
A sudden remembrance
A reverence for something precious I held
I don’t know what it is
But I know for certain… it is the source of my strength
It’s the reason I live over and over again
And yet I can’t see…
It is that steel that makes me bend but not break
And all through this I smile
At my own follies and fumbling ineptitude
Knowing well that I am a master past in this
And yet….why do I stumble so
Over and over again
Have walked these lanes…walk them blindfolded even today
And yet know not when I walked them
This life I am growing as I grew many lives before…
Never remember anything …
But the certainty that I was there is all I carry
And carry beyond the grave will I
A burning memory…of a blank?
A blank that is greater than all …
a meaning stronger than the strongest
And in sudden fear I hold close to my heart my God.
Seek solace from him…
Lavish him with all my love, anoint him, bless him, and praise him
And still in my heart I have a tiny space…
A question…
That like a tiny bubble doth expand and surge forth
With the strength of a thousand oceans
And all it asks…
“What am I?”
Why do I hurt so badly… that it is difficult to draw breath
And yet in the next breath find it in me to bless
To love and care, when all I wish is the capacity to hate
Never have I been able to hate
Wanted to destroy, wanted to wield vengeance
Why my Lord
I ask eternally… why can’t I be Human…
And yet in being human can’t hate
The form is there but the soul can’t hurt
Only be hurt…
“Why?”
Into that void I send them….these questions that plague me so…
A voice whispered… the answer lies within
And I delved deep into my consciousness
All I found was…
Patience, waiting and love…
A love immeasurable… patience tested sore by ages past
And a waiting that have known worlds…
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
DREAMS
Dreams are the realization of our inner yearnings
Those cravings buried deep inside the chasm of the mind
The bottom a darkness you couldn’t plunge
And the peaks of dizzy heights never scaled
That is why they are called dreams
Depths unexplored, unfound
Heights unconquered
And when you think you’ve reached the top…
It’s just reality…
No dream anymore
The charm of reaching there dissipates like vapour in the heat of the sun
And yet again the journey begins
Scaling heights, exploring the unknown
Infinity in all capacity
Insurmountable and alluring
The reason why we run after targets, deadlines…
And chase towards the horizon
Its nothing but man’s innate need to fulfill them
To explore the best, the ideal
And all the while the benchmark shifts further and further…
Those dreams we nurture are the life blood of the soul
The hope we feed on like hungry mortals on manna from the heavens
Devouring and yet never satiated
Always hungry for more…more…and more…
From one life to another
Searching, seeking and never letting go
Till the dream of freedom is finally revealed in all its glory
And the scales of worldliness fall along the way
And the soul is one burnished entity of the dream of freedom
Nothing but the essence of the soul itself
One united in the other
Inseparable and in perfect communion.
Those cravings buried deep inside the chasm of the mind
The bottom a darkness you couldn’t plunge
And the peaks of dizzy heights never scaled
That is why they are called dreams
Depths unexplored, unfound
Heights unconquered
And when you think you’ve reached the top…
It’s just reality…
No dream anymore
The charm of reaching there dissipates like vapour in the heat of the sun
And yet again the journey begins
Scaling heights, exploring the unknown
Infinity in all capacity
Insurmountable and alluring
The reason why we run after targets, deadlines…
And chase towards the horizon
Its nothing but man’s innate need to fulfill them
To explore the best, the ideal
And all the while the benchmark shifts further and further…
Those dreams we nurture are the life blood of the soul
The hope we feed on like hungry mortals on manna from the heavens
Devouring and yet never satiated
Always hungry for more…more…and more…
From one life to another
Searching, seeking and never letting go
Till the dream of freedom is finally revealed in all its glory
And the scales of worldliness fall along the way
And the soul is one burnished entity of the dream of freedom
Nothing but the essence of the soul itself
One united in the other
Inseparable and in perfect communion.
FAITH ---inconsequential? OR indespensible?
Blurred lines I see
Torment is all that I feel
Long to be on an even keel
But nay, it’s my lot
To yearn, to strive, to charge forward
With nothing but my Faith with me.
I will one day, someday be victorious
All my devils laid to rest
But for now I still charge on in faith
Faith---A inconsequential word
Meaning so little and yet governs out life
The basis for all we do
The basis for all we believe---
For all what we are.
My Faith struggles not
But once in a while I come across someone
who questions its validity
And I am forced to realize
That perfect communion isn’t in my lot
That no one shall or will understand
My faith---Baseless,
Yet standing lofty amid the sands of corrupt insanity.
I don’t need details
It’s just the feeling deep within that nurtures me
That powers my soul to be
Its mettle shining bright
Polished through the rough chaffing of time
Each experience burnishing it.
But as I stand on the shore I life…
Watching the winds and waves of time charge in
Recede and take away the pain
Leaving behind soft sands of fragrant salty memories…
I know my keeper thou shalt be
From now till eternity
And I need no one but thee
To nourish my soul.
Torment is all that I feel
Long to be on an even keel
But nay, it’s my lot
To yearn, to strive, to charge forward
With nothing but my Faith with me.
I will one day, someday be victorious
All my devils laid to rest
But for now I still charge on in faith
Faith---A inconsequential word
Meaning so little and yet governs out life
The basis for all we do
The basis for all we believe---
For all what we are.
My Faith struggles not
But once in a while I come across someone
who questions its validity
And I am forced to realize
That perfect communion isn’t in my lot
That no one shall or will understand
My faith---Baseless,
Yet standing lofty amid the sands of corrupt insanity.
I don’t need details
It’s just the feeling deep within that nurtures me
That powers my soul to be
Its mettle shining bright
Polished through the rough chaffing of time
Each experience burnishing it.
But as I stand on the shore I life…
Watching the winds and waves of time charge in
Recede and take away the pain
Leaving behind soft sands of fragrant salty memories…
I know my keeper thou shalt be
From now till eternity
And I need no one but thee
To nourish my soul.
BLISTERING SUMMER
Mine eyes doth pain
With the continuous watchful wait
Standing straight and silent
I gaze with a strength that would invoke a response
From the cruelest , most heartless soul
Tired , oh so tired and yet I gaze on
Dried leaves strewn on the grass
Swept past me on dry wings of an equally tired but restless wind
Cascading dying leaves all around me I see
The yellowing ghosts,
bright and shiny before departing for their brown abodes
and the sky ,a dusty gun metal grey
brings forth no respite.
No heavenly sprite clothed in wisps of grey and blue
To purge our souls with her cooling balm
Withered men and women
Tired walk about,hope is all that is left in their movements
Sapped,defeated yet awaiting that last release
Some face a long wait
Some have waited aeons
And yet wait some more…
Oh! What a fate,each an ancient mariner
Wild with the hunger in the soul
Each restless for the final escape
Yearning for deliverance and not knowing the way
Lost and found all at once
At mercy of the elements
Mere mortal shrouding souls of fire
Parched and dried but not beaten
Or are they spirits walking in the heat of this blistering summer?
Tired I trundle on…
And what do I see?
Dried leaves strewn on the grass
Swept past me on dry wings of an equally tired but restless wind
Cascading dying leaves all around me I see
The yellowing ghosts,
bright and shiny before departing for their brown abodes
and the sky ,a dusty gun metal grey
brings forth no respite.
With the continuous watchful wait
Standing straight and silent
I gaze with a strength that would invoke a response
From the cruelest , most heartless soul
Tired , oh so tired and yet I gaze on
Dried leaves strewn on the grass
Swept past me on dry wings of an equally tired but restless wind
Cascading dying leaves all around me I see
The yellowing ghosts,
bright and shiny before departing for their brown abodes
and the sky ,a dusty gun metal grey
brings forth no respite.
No heavenly sprite clothed in wisps of grey and blue
To purge our souls with her cooling balm
Withered men and women
Tired walk about,hope is all that is left in their movements
Sapped,defeated yet awaiting that last release
Some face a long wait
Some have waited aeons
And yet wait some more…
Oh! What a fate,each an ancient mariner
Wild with the hunger in the soul
Each restless for the final escape
Yearning for deliverance and not knowing the way
Lost and found all at once
At mercy of the elements
Mere mortal shrouding souls of fire
Parched and dried but not beaten
Or are they spirits walking in the heat of this blistering summer?
Tired I trundle on…
And what do I see?
Dried leaves strewn on the grass
Swept past me on dry wings of an equally tired but restless wind
Cascading dying leaves all around me I see
The yellowing ghosts,
bright and shiny before departing for their brown abodes
and the sky ,a dusty gun metal grey
brings forth no respite.
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