There is a certain lassitude in my soul that I have been trying to ignore for quite a long time. Have covered it with layers of “things I like to do”…made enormous wish lists done enormous amounts of weird wild and whacky things. But that lassitude doesn’t seem to be going.Infact the void deepens. I always thought the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility applied to my life too. The trouble is that I have reached that satiation point very soon and my learning curve for people and things is extremely steep. Alternatively I feel I know enough of a person because that is as much I need from them.
The end result –an extremely dissatisfied person with not much that interests her or intrigues her. I’m told eternally to get married but my eternal fear is that I will get bored of my spouse too very soon. No I am not delusional about the ‘charming’ aspects of my personality, just petrified that these charming traits might end up making more than just one (Me for now) miserable.
The void will not go…I know that and have made my peace with it.now I begin my quest for something new to hold my attention…