SWEET OBLIVION

The air doth hold a stillness that bespeaks of a certain waiting
The waiting of an eternity
Of the decisions I have to make and never did make
The ultimate break…..my forte and none can do but me


The floor I treat on…my anklets making a familiar jangling noise
Chiming to the movements of my feet
That incessantly beat a way to insanity
The soul doth wonder when there will be respite
When it shall rest eternally
When it shall be eternally happy in blissful oblivion

Yes it is oblivion that I seek
That makes me sit up the dark of the night and wonder at my existence
It is oblivion…..a break from all the tortured feelings
Lifetimes and memories I hold within my small body…
A lifetime and many more all compressed
And someday it shall all come out and I shall be taken by surprise
Unprepared for the deluge, swept away by the force of the tide

The strength evades me
Courage deserted, and mind and body made infirm by the bondages of this life
And yet I strive for that oblivion
While the gods laugh at the wretched vanity of my being
Am I too arrogant?
To presume that I am capable of what very few have done

Is the strength of my purpose as solid as the rock on which my home stands?
Or am like the sand that gets washed away as the tide turns in?
The answers no one knoweth
And still are entrenched in the very same depths of my soul…
The soul that yearns for freedom and hath held the key to it.


And as I think these grave thoughts……..
Pacing back and forth……my anklets jangling
I wonder if I will ever see that oblivion…
Is death the only one to relieve me or is there another way
And look and look and look is all I do
Still finding no answer………