SWEET REMEMBRANCE

Last night I stayed up and watched City of Angels after a long time. It was one of those movies I saw for the first time and felt an instant bonding with. One of those movies you just see for the first time and go and buy an original CD promptly. I don’t love that movie because of the romance…… it’s the realism in it that attracts me…the honesty and beauty of Love. Love at its purest form. We have always given form to love and felt that love can never be felt if there isn’t a form to support it…….that’s what Maggie felt because of her human form…but Seth did love even before he became human…

He gave it all up…free will…he said. And for what….just because Maggie wanted to feel. its not that one cannot feel love without form…we aren’t evolved enough to accept a love without form. This doesn’t mean that there doesn’t exist a love…like that. instant recognition isn’t just a chemical reaction that one would call…attraction…it goes beyond that…a familiarity and a recognition…a feeling of being there….of having known that person…or maybe that life…and soul.

I’ve always loved this explanation best. Otherwise how would you explain totally rational human beings falling in love with people who are a total antithesis of what they thought would be perfect for them… some incredibly beautiful person marrying and loving genuinely someone who isn’t beautiful. at times such as these we marvel at love calling it blind …if we dig a little deeper we will see its not love that is blind…its that we have become all seeing in that instant.

Like Seth I completely understand what it means to just have that recognition…just once. To be there n see just maybe once. Feel maybe once…that powerful soul defining emotion. I call it an emotion because our language isn’t equipped enough for defining something so surreal. I don’t know…why I feel so. Maybe this was the instant recognition I got from the movie. a slight jolt to my soul that I have been there…before. in that cataclysmic soul shattering moment of instant recognition…which permeated my soul in such a way…that its written in my very gene code. a mark…a memory I have carried with me down the ages….for lives.

The strange thing is that when I saw the movie I felt an innate happiness. People I’ve recommended the movie to see…have deemed it as a sad movie……but I don’t know…why in this movie and in others like…

Sweet November……Message in the Bottle……I have felt nothing but a warmth derived from familiarity. Let’s just say death has been an old friend…never an enemy. I know many would find this post insane and the midnight mutterings of a mad woman. But its exactly 2:15a.m and as I write this down…I have never been more alive or human…someday I hope I feel that recognition again…or maybe I already have... my share of that feeling …And those of you out there…who know what I mean…will smile and bask in that warm glow…or maybe just the remembrance.