CONSUMED WITH COLLECTION ADDICTION

My biggest sin is that I am a compulsive collector. Let me give you a sneak peek into my room and its contents which will tell you why such a simple trait is a sin. I’ve been long trying to establish a reason for such a behavioral aberration as many would call it and came to the conclusion the answer to such questions lie in the past.

Oh No! Not my immediate past but the past lives past. Maybe I was a part of a civilization long gone which was routed out of existence due to severe deprivation, the dregs of which trickled down into my soul via generations. But then logically that wouldn’t be possible because if they went out with the light like some obscure race, then neither would I be in existence. So scrapping that line of thought I fantasize about being born during the dark ages which kind of fits because I am
A) A compulsive collector ( as if the world’s supplies are going to end the next minute….a veritable hoarder)
B) A supporter or emancipation…a hater of any form of repression…a rebel against authority ( I feel women can never be treated too well and yet believe they have a place of their own in society which they shouldn’t relinquish in the pursuit of the ultimate goal of a perceived equality)
C) I hate cumbersome clothes. ( I think that would be common to anyone )
D) Also I have this peculiar OCD for cleanliness. I just love cleaning things up …its like therapy to me. Maybe I was a maid in those times, or had some insufferable guilt that goes with being born in the Dark Ages, something sinister and (gleefully) horrid…something I just had to try and wash away and have been trying to erase since then.( Boy! That sure would take an awful lot of washing up during the years)
E) I like the colder climes better than any other climate. It seems to be something I’ve inherited…the heat just doesn’t suit me…(feels like some really slow genetic adaptation… my mind and body still seem to feel they are meant to be in Europe and not here in the tropical climes of India.)


My collection habits range from the good to the strange to the really bizarre. Its definitely more than just what the average female collects...old birthday cards, shoes, dresses, accessories….(P.S. I think Jayalalitha was a pretty average female even with her collection of saris and shoes).

For instance I have this stash of really unmatched buttons I’ve collected over the years. Just simple plastic, bone and metal buttons with which if I tried to make a multicolored plaque would resemble something like an MF Hussain painting gone wrong. (That says a lot for the color combinations I would be forced to use).I really don’t know why I collect those buttons. It’s probably because I can’t see anything being wasted or maybe just in the hope of getting the perfect garment to match them. Truth be known I just get a joy in putting my hand in the bag and sifting through them …it pretty much feels like when u go into a supermarket and sift your hand through a tin of grain. Oh! That feel of plenty is priceless.

Then once I went on this Jag of collecting foreign currency which is quite normal. However my reasons weren’t so normal. I didn’t collect for any cultural or educative reasons as most people would say but because it tickled me pink at the thought of the distance that piece of paper or coin traveled to get to me. I mean I could write a whole book on the life of a note…all the various exciting places and events it went through to reach its final destination –ME. However I grew out of that habit thankfully…courtesy a soured love relationship which made me clear a lot of mess and junk a lot of clutter…both physically and metaphorically.

Then I have this fascinating habit of collecting Plastic bags. It’s a habit that’s totally unique except to the rag picker race. However I do consider myself one notch above that scavenging race. I DON’T collect used poly bags…just newly minted poly bags. I have a super collection of bags both Natural fiber and polythene which I keep close to me literally. I line the underside of my mattress with all those glorious bags. Plus it has an advantage of leveraging my position from ‘single’ cushion to ‘double’ cushion. When I was in Pune studying I created the largest collection of bags anyone would have had in my hostel and people knew whom to approach had they needed one.Oh I could afford to be generous. I had surplus over my buffer supplies. My collection ranged from Subway take away wraps to Pune Central glorious translucent watermelon bags…to those crackly Piramyd bags to those glossy Amsterdam Airport Merry Christmas holiday bags. I have also collected Laundry bags and airsickness bags from airports and Hotels…well all justifiably needed …how awful to be caught getting sick without an airsickness bag ( Perfectly legitimate for me to take one).another reason why I like going shopping is the Bags I get. Sometimes when the need and hunger gets too much…….I just go shopping with someone and take the bags in fair exchange for my esteemed company.


My recent interaction with the beach for the first time left me with two bags of an assortment of shells and stones.Oh! Those two beautiful days of beach combing that left me looking like something like the hunchback of Notre dame. All I could do at the water’s edge was chase after the shiny shells and pebbles which kept appearing and receding magically with the tide. I went totally berserk…what a collector’s paradise! Smooth stones, serrated surfaces, colored, jewel bright stones… (Who knows that might have been a rare diamond)…green, blue, yellow ochre I collected them all.Ah! But this is one of the more tame addictions of mine so I shall not go in further details besides its seasonal and short-lived for I’m a beach collector so I only collect stones if and when I go to the beach.

As a kid I had this fascination for collecting pretty perfume bottles (the secret being in those early days I wasn’t allowed to put perfume so I would fantasize about it by sniffing at the innumerable bottles I collected…).which later on extended to wine bottles which I sniffed at too but for very different reasons… (Had been reading those M&Bs which ...er.. taught so much about wines and their bouquets….I was just beginning to learn about that concept….being not only restricted to flowers).However that was soon put to an end…when my developed sense of smell got away with me and I brought home a bottle of formaldehyde preserved ancient but still not disintegrated earthworms. They were my pride….only my mother didn’t share in it and out went my collection of bottles and all. I cried, I felt deprived, I screamed in rage, but to no avail. Anyway I grew up and found compensation in the real stuff……..real perfumes and wine. For those of you who don’t know…I love perfume….and anytime you are stuck for what to give me …..Give me a bottle of wildly expensive French perfume….Oh! And please no Rose….I hate rose…..except in flowers.

My recent craze is DVD videos. Being in a hostel gives you ample opportunity to make your own library of videos. I have approximately 400 movies (a modest collection) right now. Some as original DVDs or VCDs…those evergreen collector movies one would like to see over and over again ( and that brings to the forefront another peculiarity of mine…..when Shakespeare said “if music be the food of love, play on…” he meant me………it takes me an average of 50-60 times listening to a track to make me sick of it after which I will not touch it till eternity…..this habit of mine has percolated into the other parts of my life too…food…drink…movies…and sometimes sad to admit people too….so if I’m onto you big time, beware!….your days in my life are numbered…sometimes fortunately for you, and sometimes for me). My rationale in collecting movies---a visualization of what I’ll be when I’m 80 years old ….sitting on an overstuffed couch with nothing to do besides matchmaking (something I want to desperately do to torture the next generation as I was tortured…).Ah! hopefully by then my elephantine memory will have dimmed and I can enjoy the mammoth collection I’ve made over years of careful education in good taste ( my collection of movies has no riff raff….its all the choicest ones …each a story to tell both in the making and how it landed in my collection…).

Then there is the morbid streak in me too…I collect remains of old relationships…movie ticket stubs, bills from lunches and dinners, old envelopes from letters that are preserved for posterity, feathers, dried flowers and even in my case …er…pop corn packets….. (Don’t ask me why pop corn).Then there are other things like……..a lock of my dead dog’s hair… Oh I think that’s so romantic….the whole ‘locket and lock’ thing. That was my dog’s…Beware! if you are the love of my life you’ll probably go missing some hair…or an old t shirt …I LOVE RELICS…Sometimes I feel I might have been an Egyptian the way I mummify my things ‘achaar dalo’ as my friends and family say…

And there is this lifelong fetish I have with anklets and earrings especially filigree and stone jewellery.No, if you’re wondering I’m definitely not high maintenance. I could ooh! And ah! over some junk you picked up for me from some street vendor in Bandra or rhapsodize over a delicate spider web of silver from Oysterbay.But for the major part I feel Jewellery and shoes are highly personal and should be bought by oneself only…they are a reflection of what you are. There is this old adage that still holds true today… “You can make out the kind of man by his shoes and friends”. I’d like to take the liberty to extend that to women too.

Then there are the more mundane items like scented candles, pot pourri, stationary, multicolored post-its, recipes books scavenged out of “kabaari waala tapris” ,flower seeds and fresh flowers and plants, books, etc.

Oh the never-ending joy of collection. You can just imagine the pleasure. It’s another thing that I will always need a store room wherever I live to keep my stash safe from prying eyes.